1995

Professional MAP
HOME FREE
by Tina Moon Long

I am a hospice nurse. I care for terminally ill people in their homes. My patients come from a variety of backgrounds and lifestyles. They all have one thing in common: They are in the last days of their lives and they know it. I have been working with a professional MAP team almost daily since January 1995. I would like to share with Perelandra Voices some of my experiences.

Early on, my MAP team gave me a flower essence solution that would balance and stabilize me and my work within the coning. I carry this with me and take three drops when I open and close the coning. The solution has changed completely once, and I have added to it once. I have also been given a grief essence solution that I carry with me and use as needed when a patient of mine dies.

My professional MAP team has also changed once. The first team I had was one with whom I had already been working for a couple of years as Director of Nurses. That team was named Transformers. In January, when I began to work consistently with my professional MAP team, the configuration and the name of my team changed. Where I had formerly had four team members, I now had five, in the form of the DaVinci figure with arms and legs open like a five-pointed star. This team is named Home Free (appropriate, or what!). This was when the stabilizing solution changed.

At first I did not know quite how to relate to my team or how to work with them. We all went through some frustrating times while I got comfortable with how to get information, how to ask questions, what I can ask of them and so forth. One of the first things that I asked for was that I be assisted in developing the acuity needed to hear my team and perceive the information that they would give me. I wanted to be able to hear them, or sense them, without having to use kinesiology in the presence of a patient. I got that I should open to Pan in the Calibration process. So, I would open the coning with the Calibration connection to Pan while I was with the patient. The first time I worked in this way (January 19, 1995), I experienced a column of energy shifting within me from left to center. It was sort of like a column of light (note this for later reference). I also felt the presence of a being. I didn't know who and didn't ask. It was a friendly being and almost felt like it was part of the column of light (note this, too).

Since this time, I have noticed that the acuity has grown with my own confidence in my ability to hear/sense my team's input. Somewhere along the way I also learned to ask to be calibrated to each individual patient before our visit. This is especially helpful when I am working with those whose higher selves are not in the coning. My team told me that this heightens my ability to tune in to my patients. It deepens my rapport with each patient. It assists me in listening and understanding information given to me. It is like meshing gears with the patient. And it fine-tunes my senses.

The first time I had a patient die while I was in coning was an incredible experience. I felt like his midwife. I know what this feels like because I have been a birth midwife for 25 years. The energy of birth and the energy of death are the same. I felt like I was moving in his rhythm but also creating a rhythm. I had the thought that this was co-creative death. I asked him silently if I could connect with his higher self and intuitively felt him give me permission. I breathed with him and silently chanted, "Let go, let go, let go." I knew that this was his timing. I envisioned him held in the Light. I saw him moving into the tunnel. I encouraged him to take the hand of the Being at the end of the tunnel.

As a nurse, I have been present for other deaths, but this was very different. I know it was because of the presence of my MAP team. I was not alone. Later, my team told me that in this kind of midwifery, I do not catch, so much as I push, urging the spirit onward. They told me that they were behind me and helped me to assist him through the door. I later offered him the Post-Death Flower Essence Process, which he accepted, and he told me that his death was a "soft, gentle experience."

Since his death, I have offered the Post-Death Flower Essence Process ten times. Only once has a person refused. All but three of them were for hospice patients of mine. Six of them died of cancer. Interesting to note is that in each of the processes for my hospice patients, I required Cauliflower Essence, which leads me to believe that it is for midwives as well, since I was involved in midwifing them through the death process.

Of the two who were not hospice patients, one was for an infant who had died of multiple birth defects, the other was for an 18-year-old boy who had committed suicide. Both of these were profound experiences for me. With the infant girl, I immediately sensed her as a bird. She connected to me very strongly, as if she were part of me, within me. I was overwhelmed by her presence. She filled me with her gentleness and joy. I felt blessed. I was overflowing with tears of thanksgiving by the end of the process.

The process for the boy was very different. I found him to be a hurt little boy, lost and bewildered. After he tested clear, I held him and rocked him — mothered him. I encouraged him to go toward the Light. When he hesitated, I gave him my hand and began walking him upward toward the Light at the end of the tunnel. I extended my hand, leading him forward. As he began to walk on his own, I began to cry. I reached out to him as he continued on. Our fingers were the last to touch. He never said a word, and all I saw of him was his silhouette. I was overcome. I asked him if he was at peace and his answer was "yes."

Remember the column of light and the Being I mentioned earlier? Well, on May 12, I did a personal MAP session with an interesting outcome for my professional MAP work. My focus for the session was how to care for and nurture myself while doing my work with love, joy and compassion. I give of myself to my patients. I always have and cannot work any other way, but it can be emotionally wearing. As I was talking to my personal team about this, I saw myself first with a screen around me and then in a column of light. When I asked if I am to visualize myself in this column of light, I was told "yes." Later I was told that this column is a form and has a deva (the aforementioned Being?) who is to be included in the conings. As I am enfolded in the column of light, I have the feeling that my body is being gloved. From within the column, I am able to reach out while being bathed in this energy. Later, I was told to add Moon Essence to my stabilizing solution, along with Soul Ray #1 and #8. I was told that the column of light is "of the Moon."

My team has also given me a way to open to them in emergency situations. All I have to do is say the name of my team and I am instantly in a coning and enfolded in the column of light. The column of light has made me feel very nurtured and protected. I am free to give without feeling personally depleted. I still cry when a loved patient dies. I sometimes whine and complain to my team when I think something should be happening that isn't. I know that early on, they were frustrated with my hesitation to "jump in." One time I was complaining that I was not worthy. I wanted a "big wig" like Hyperithon or Lorpuris to talk to me. Well, instantly I felt a wash of energy flow over me and fill me with that sense that, yes, indeed I am important to this work. I am a contact on "this side" and one who can carry it out on this level. This is a co-creative partnership, remember! I laughed and cried, felt full and was humbled by the experience — the "What, who me?" reaction.

I am in awe of the experiences as they come to me. There aren't words to adequately describe how blessed I feel. My team teaches me daily what it is to work in a co-creative way with them. They care for me and hold me to their highest expectations. They guide me in gentleness and love. I truly cannot imagine being able to do my work without them. I am absolutely grateful to my team for the work we do together. What is interesting to me is that the more extraordinary my experiences, the more ordinary I feel!

Editor's Note: The process that Tina described using with her Professional MAP team are examples of how a team will personalize their approach in working with a particular person. Tina is working within the guidelines established in MAP, but don't assume that how she uses the Calibration Process to assist with her work is the way you should use the process. Machaelle discusses this type of situation in her Message to MAP Users.