I was the poster child for a real dunce in the beginning of learning to work co-creatively. Around 1995, I re-read Behaving and was once again totally captured by it. In my typical "jump in with both feet and half drown" pattern, I, who had never gardened before, attempted to do a huge co-creative veggie and herb garden to supply our food for the year. (Sheesh! No wonder I had problems!) I had previously gone to the National Dowsers convention here in Vermont and so was using a pendulum at the time to do my testing. I got all kinds of weird and contradictory results in my testing that shook my faith a bit.

I began to feel a lot of tension and overwhelm around trying to make such a big (and important for our food supply) garden totally all or nothing — either a totally co-creative garden or just human-dominant. I was sinking fast and finally quit and just gardened (apologizing to the devas for my ineptitude).

Then at another dowsers convention, I was able to take a test of my dowsing ability. I flunked — only 15 percent right! What a blow for someone who has always gotten good grades and usually succeeds in some measure at anything she tries. My confidence in my testing hit a new low. I felt as if maybe I wouldn't be able to do co-creative work at all because I was so naturally bad at the testing. I got myself into a bad pattern of trying to learn by continually setting up tests for myself, which I then usually failed. Interestingly enough, I began doing MAP on myself and the energy processes from Workbook II on our land. Because it seemed (to me) to be a coin toss situation, I did the processes without question. There were no immediate results I could see that would indicate that I'd gotten it "right" or "wrong," so I felt okay about it. Somewhere deep in me was a strong belief in and desire to do this work. I continued to devour all of Machaelle's books as they came out. I read Dancing through the first time and then immediately turned around and read it again. It gave me such a positive and exciting feeling about life and the potential for human expansion. I have since read it twice more. I deeply believed in the co-creative work, but sadly withdrew from doing my garden co-creatively except for a few isolated processes here and there.

I continued to do the energy processes on the land and house, and to work off and on with MAP. I never saw any flowers pop up in unusual places or felt anything in particular on the land. I just had a deep knowing that even what little I could do was helping to balance the land. I had to have believed it to be sitting in my room all by myself doing these processes! Once I tried to get the mice I was hearing in the walls of the house to leave, but I had little success. My garden work was human-dominant, but I loved gardening with a passion and spent hours out there in my private sanctuary.

In the winter of 1999, I decided to order the Microbial Balancing Program Manualto see what it entailed. Still feeling unable to test accurately, I didn't think I could do the program. I re-read all Machaelle's books again and got re-inspired to try and crack this testing thing. I got a hit to do a calibration process for my testing block, and I got this wonderful message from nature:

From our perspective you are no longer working in a dualistic paradigm as you have been used to with left brain/right brain, right/wrong, good/bad, black/white, etc. Everything is One; all moves in a circle. Each choice to do something just brings different results. There's no right or wrong or good or bad about it — no judgment; just a different set of results. This is why you are never to invent tests for yourself to test your accuracy because it throws you back into the left-brain paradigm. As you develop your intent, focus and clarity in asking questions, your reception of our messages will become more clear. Anything you do with intent and desire to work in partnership with us will be helpful.

Once I called the hotline, and Beth helped me with a key point. She said, as I'd been told by nature, to stop testing myself with the pendulum. If testing with a pendulum breaks down over time, switch to the kinesiology method of testing. I was sold and began basic flower essence testing morning and evening, which I did for three months. She also helped me to know that I didn't have to do the whole garden co-creatively, but that any one process I did would be helpful. It was not an all-or-nothing situation. What a relief! I immediately designated a small part of the garden to be a co-creative learning garden. I am excited to see how that will go this summer. Amy also gave me another more detailed and specific way to work with the mice in the house. I had my first obvious practical success after doing a trouble-shooting chart with specific intent. I stopped hearing mice in the wall for the rest of the winter! I ordered the full balancing set and the videos on the Microbial Balancing Program. The videos were totally inspiring, and the Phase 1 Process gave me a feeling of confidence — that this was doable, that even I could learn Microbial Balancing. I did about fifteen Phase 1 charts for general balancing and realized that those three years of working with essences, MAP and the energy processes on the land had paid off. They were familiar. So now I am in a Microbial Balancing Program Telegraph Test for a specific issue process, and it is fascinating. I love the specificity of knowing I'm working with a particular set of microbes in an area of my body, such as viruses in the small intestine. My kinesiology testing is going really well, and I am quickly gaining confidence as the "yes" and "no" responses feel really clear. I am moving though the charts fine in the 24-hour rhythm and am excited to follow it through until the final "clear."

— B.S., Vermont