1998-99

Microbial Balancing Program
THE MISSING LINK IN SELF-HELP PROGRAMS
by Margaret Brown

Although my parents bestowed a great deal of love upon me when I was young, the damaged emotional patterns they carried from their own upbringing were passed along to me in the inevitable way. At 21, I attended my first "self development" course aimed at raising consciousness. Fifteen years and four babies later the rosy world of consciousness had dissolved in diaper buckets and dishwater. The dysfunctional emotional patterns passed down by my parents were strongly in place, and my abilities in the mother role and in my spiritual endeavors were semi-paralyzed. At 35, I was overcome by a great longing for death.

Thus began the search. I listened to tape recordings of high frequency sound waves that change brain wave patterns, guaranteeing peaceful meditation. It was wonderful while the tape was playing, but the rest of my life was such a mismatch that I soon began to experience bouts of inexplicable paranoia. These led to sessions with a channeler, then psychotherapy, marriage counseling, inner child therapy, Native American sweat lodges, reiki sessions, hands-on healing, Zen meditations, color therapy, chanting therapy, Islamic zhikkers, Mevlevi turning and more. My issues around shame and the attacks of shame that chronically afflicted my relationships and interfered with spiritual endeavors became perfectly clear to me. I could see them, feel them and know them. But although I had tried writing letters and burning them, beating pillows with plastic bats, reliving by reenacting childhood incidents in groups, wrapping the shame into tobacco bundles and sending it up in smoke to the great spirit, stamping it out in Mevlevi dervish dances, and subjecting myself to cellular level cleansing, the same dysfunctional emotional patterns discovered to have been present in many former lifetimes remained strong and well within me. With each of these practices, I experienced temporary release. But in time, the patterns always returned.

There are wonderful, valuable tools in the ancient traditional "ways." I received much blessing and healing in the solace they offered. But after everything, after ten years of trying, I found I was still carrying the same patterns.

During this time I discovered and began using the Perelandra MAP and Calibration processes. I found these to be even more effective in releasing day-to-day emotional tensions and stresses. In time I understood better and better what was needed to release emotional blocks and snags as they came up. I began to see just how connected and indivisible the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual are.

In early spring of 1998, using the MAP/Calibration process for a specific problem, I sought once and for all to release one of the bases of shame which are present in my emotional "body." I either released too much or too fast, because for three days afterwards my entire stomach and digestive tract became so sensitive, tender and painful that I could hardly eat anything or keep anything down. When one is writhing in pain, it is very difficult to do MAP. For a few days I suffered, but eventually MAP and essences put me back together.

When the microbial balancing book first came out, I moaned that I could see my future stretched out in front of me, spending the rest of my life in my room sitting on the floor on a pillow, kinesiology-ing my way to eternity. I put the book away because I knew I didn't have time for it. In April my cat got sick and it seemed like the time had come to try microbial balancing.

It was pretty slow going at first, but after a few sessions I got the feel of it. In May I became involved in an accident where my car driver's side airbag hit me squarely in the face (I am 4'11" tall), splitting the cartilage on both sides of my nose, cutting the inside of my mouth to smithereens and scraping almost half of the skin off my face. (I am lucky because airbags have killed 112 petite women and children.) The period of recovery became a six-week intensive of uninterrupted communication with nature, on every level from the mental/emotional fears about permanent scars, numbness and nerve damage to my face, physical healing for skin, cartilage, muscles and eyes, and the other modalities that were aimed at releasing the trauma of the injury of being hit in the face with 1200 lbs. of force. Unfortunately, I had never taken the time to make my Emergency Trauma Solution.

I could not think about microbial balancing for myself until about ten days after the accident. I was especially worried about the numbness and swelling of my lips, nose and cheek, and I was afraid there was nerve damage. The microbial balancing process was an absolute joy for me. But the most outstanding part of the process was one that called for battle energy release. I was astonished at what I felt. After having three reiki sessions to release the trauma from the impact, I assumed that it was complete. But as soon as I began the Battle Energy Release Process, energy started pouring out of me like steam from a steam kettle. I do not "see" things, but it was so strong that I fully understood all that was happening. The trauma was releasing on a much finer level, from my microbes. I felt so happy at the end of the session. It was as if the accident had never happened. Afterward all the fears about healing and my appearance were completely gone and I was full of joy.

The airbag accident had shown me what life can be like when you are really concentrating on working with nature. At the Perelandra Open House on July 4th, I picked up the Biological Triangulation and Microbial Balancing for Disease paper. I was very interested to read that tumors are held in place by the microbes that form triangles to accommodate their presence in the body. Not long after that, I made the decision to stop teaching at the school where I had been working. But the thought of quitting my job brought up guilt and shame. The old patterns, back again! After several calibration processes, and getting very clear about the correctness of my decision, I found that I was still experiencing bouts of fears and guilt about quitting. My classroom environment had become so well balanced and stabilized after using the processes for several years, that my preschoolers cried when it was time to go home — because they did not want to leave! But nature helped me to understand that the time had come to move the "garden" to a better location.

It then occurred to me that patterns of guilt and shame around quitting, which were literally binding me and stopping me from making changes in my life, could be seen as tumors — emotional tumors. With the MAP/ Calibration Process I released the "tumor" of fear, guilt and shame that came up around quitting my job. I asked: "Is a microbial balancing needed as a result of quitting my old job and moving my garden (from my job to my home)?" The answer was "yes," so I went through the steps. To my astonishment, when I awoke the day after the microbial balancing, I might as well have been on a new planet, in another lifetime. There wasn't a shred of guilt or shame about giving up the teaching job in order to relocate my garden at my home. I was mentally and psychologically free to make the change. That old pattern was gone in the most relaxed, balanced, free way. I was perfectly at peace about it.

Since then I have begun to follow my release work, which seems to be my focus at present, using microbial balancing. Each time I feel like a different person with a new life. I believe that microbial balancing is a link that is missing from release work and self-help programs. The microscopic triangles which perhaps connect the mental/emotional to the physical on an energetic level, when balanced, make release on the finest level complete.

I am ecstatic to make this discovery, to me the most important discovery in my life, because I believe it is the key, the missing link I have been searching for to freedom from old patterns and possibilities for growth.