Gardening and MAP

Ever since I can remember, I had difficulty being around people. To fit in, I covered it up, but couldn't lie to myself. Eventually I had panic attacks and became a hermit. I didn't go anywhere and didn't allow anyone to see me. My husband, who knew about my attacks before we married, was my only lifeline. I became despondent after struggling with this situation for 15 years, I slept 20 hours a day and prayed for death — every day for 2 years.

To make a long story short, we have an Interlibrary Loan Service at our public library. I can therefore order books, magazines, and tapes from all libraries which are in the system. They are then delivered to my home. I began my spiritual search, and was led to meditation which helped me find a therapist. The therapist helped me get out a little and face some issues. Then I found you — or rather Behaving. . . . That was the real jumpstart. I read every book you wrote and own quite a few of them.

I began my first, small vegetable garden and began working with the devas, nature spirits and Pan. A corner of our property became my Elemental Annex. Miracles immediately occurred in me. Up to that time, I could make myself go places and work in the garden. But a wall was still around me. However, the wall finally came down. For the first time in my life, I am comfortable around others, even with family and friends.

That was a year and a half ago. Since then I have incorporated flower essences and MAP into my life. I didn't think things could change more quickly, but I was wrong! People don't know me anymore, which is difficult at times, but I feel I'm living for the first time. It isn't perfect. But the good far outweighs the bad. I have only 2 regrets. (1) I haven't anyone who will share this wonderful information. I live in a community and was raised by people who are very conservative. So at times, I'm very lonely. (2) I don't hear, see, or feel the nature intelligence or my MAP team. I only see the results of their work in me and my yard — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. So, once again, at times I'm still lonely.

I want to thank you for so much for getting these concepts out so people can try them for themselves. My husband, a born skeptic, is now using the flower essences. He saw how I had changed. He also tried MAP and was greatly impressed. I hope others whom I know will someday be willing to try your flower essences, recognize Nature as an intelligent force, and know about the White Brotherhood.

What have I learned so far from my life? I learned that there is no strength where there is no struggle. But I don't think we have to struggle all the time or all alone.

— T.R.D., Ohio