2002

Processes & Nature
Perelandra Processes: Year One

by Susan Chruszcz

My entire adult life has been marked by little blissful remissions, followed by devastating relapses. I have complex health issues—asthma, allergies, chronic pain and muscle spasm, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and Fibromyalgia. I am searching for balance, some stability in my health that I can count on, so that I can make plans and follow through. I tried many different treatments in the last 20 years. Some things seemed to help, but if they made any difference at all, they helped in an area other than the one I was targeting. Some peripheral healing may have been going on, but no sustainable progress was ever made. A friend suggested I read MAP, and that's where this journey began.

I put my health in nature's hands and said, "I want to heal in every way imaginable, and I want your help." I became a student of nature, my project was my health, and I began a year of intensive study and treatment. In the process I learned a great deal, made extensive use of MAP, flower essences; I completed MBP charts by the binder-full, did multiple Organizing Process Charts and now, thankfully, use all the MBP Solutions. My co-creative science project was my own health, so this complicated things: I had no separation from my study "object." I couldn't walk away from my "garden" and have a break from it.

I set the pace for my Perelandra studies by trying one thing at a time. I bought the MAP book, had some success, then I bought the Flower Essences book and a full set of dram-sized essences. My testing was slow and tedious. And, since I was still quite ill, I needed lots of essences, and the entire process was wearing me out. I opted to test one row of essences at a time, until I gained some speed. With some success and interesting results with essences, I decided to get the Perelandra Microbial Balancing Program Manual and read about it before investing in the program, although I was pretty sure I would be going there. It made sense to me to balance the microbes rather than fight with them. Not long after buying the manual I ordered the Expanded Balancing Kit and couldn't wait for it to arrive.

I started with a few MBP Phase 1 Charts, to get my feet wet, but I knew I really needed to be doing some more involved work. I found the MBP charts tedious and difficult. I started doing full charts, but they took about five to six hours to do, and were very draining. Then, my left eyetooth flared up. I decided I needed to do an MBP chart on the tooth, but I had done some more reading, so I started the MBP Telegraph Test Checklist. I was directed to do 47 charts for the tooth. I struggled with the work, and eventually called the Perelandra Question Hot Line. I spoke to Jeannette, who advised me that I don't know what my microbes need. She also gave me some helpful endurance tips — drink water and eat nuts during the MBP work, and test myself for essences during the work if I feel drained. She also said I could set limits with the team if I found the work too much for me. This guidance helped enormously. I went back to work, and of course the solution was to go back to my general balancing. I started over with a telegraph test for general balancing. The tooth started to settle and the charts were much more manageable. I have called the Hot Line several times since, and Amy and Jeannette are always friendly and helpful.

Months later, when my microbes had been generally balanced, and I was much more efficient at doing MBP charts, I did an enormous file of dental work. The left eyetooth was like a beacon, pointing to liver problems and toxicity in my mouth. I did Organizing Process charts and telegraph tests and MBP charts galore, over a period of a few months, and managed to save the left eyetooth. I fully committed to Perelandra study. I bought the rest of the Perelandra literature and devoted the rest of the year to studying all that Perelandra offers.

My MAP team has helped me in every area of my life. The primary focus has been my health, but some of the work has been directed to other areas — my love life; ants in my kitchen pointing out the mold under my cupboards and leading to some innovative Workbook efforts to balance that inaccessible area of my rented apartment; bed-sheets that caused my throat to hurt, and required MBP (for the sheets) and alternative laundering for a few months; long-stemmed roses (the love-life work worked) that drooped the first day they arrived, and stood erect again with a little help from flower essences and my devic friends.

I have gone from a state of virtual immobility, requiring the gentlest of treatment, to experiencing a synergistic acceleration of treatment and healing. I was gaining ground but was overwhelmed with the change of pace and flooded with paperwork. I started asking more and more questions, and started getting some confusing and conflicting results. The work I was given to do became totally unmanageable, and I wondered why this so-called expert on balance (nature) was giving me such unbalanced and poorly paced assignments. This required patience I was quickly running out of. I had to learn the difficult lesson of growing up in this relationship with nature.

I kept hoping to have some stability in my health so I could take a break from the intensity of my healing trajectory. But the roller coaster of my Perelandra studies careened on, and I felt it would be unsafe for me to simply jump off. I whined, I complained, but until I stated clearly and with solid intent, I didn't get my so-called "break." It's the old lesson I almost learned in my first job as a waitress: You don't get a break, you take one.

I knew I couldn't just stop working directly with nature because my health was still not stable, so I stated that I would not be delving into the details of new health work. I would continue using any processes I had already used, and use MAP as needed, but I wanted to put the health-related co-creative science projects to rest for an indefinite period. I felt I was bailing out or reneging in some way. I thought nature might be let down by my redirected focus. I felt guilty, having committed to co-creative science, but I had to make this move in order to survive and eventually carry on. Yet whenever I asked for help, usually in an emergency medical situation, they were there, as ready and willing and capable as ever to help me out.

I started to settle in with my new redirected agenda and things started to fall mysteriously into place. I checked in with my team and was informed that nature didn't consider my redirection a sway from co-creative science at all. Rather, they considered it part of my lesson plan. I was being totally supported in my new focus and taught how to integrate what I had learned in my first year of studies.

So now my life looks different. More balanced in many ways, although I still haven't got the foggiest notion how to schedule everything into a week. I am still doing what healing work I require. I still see my health care practitioners, but not as frequently as before. I even required some more microbial balancing, after not needing any for a few months. But it is so much easier now. When I look back to a year ago when I was just learning the MBP, I shudder at how difficult it was and how sick I felt.

The health work has been a full-time job. Then I finally started to understand: That this is a partnership and I have some responsibility to set some of the boundaries. I could make the decisions I have knowledge and insight about, and ask the teams for support and assistance when I am beyond my capacity. I could work with nature as a partner now. My relationship with nature evolves as we get to know and understand one another better. Whenever I doubt them or myself, I am given the evidence I need to continue on. When I make a mistake because I am working hard but just don't get it, I have a difficult lesson, but I also get bailed out when I am in big trouble. The point is, with nature work, you can learn the easy way or you can learn the hard way, but if you persist, you will learn.